Identity continued

So, after my last post, I spent some more time reflecting, and discovered that maybe I could focus my question a bit better. I was a little too broad, covering more than one topic, but in my mind all these things are connected, weaving in and out among each other. ANYWAY...I think my real question focuses on identity. I believe we (humans) are all created in the image of God, but there's a struggle because that image does not always show through because of being corrupted by sin. My culture says that I'm free to be whoever I want to be...There's no one I'm supposed to be, I can make myself who I am.
However, I read scriptures like Gen. 1:27 that God created humankind in God's image; and Jeremiah 1, where God says he knew the prophet before God formed him in the womb (this also occurs in Psalm 139). And throughout scripture it seems that God creates people for a special purpose or "calling." This is also connected to the idea of God's providence, that God has a plan that will prevail. And I think also predeterminism (and predestination) could come into play here as well, which would suggest that God has already determined what's going to happen, which in turn denies the existence of human free will. So let me be clear about where I stand.
I think part of being created in the image of God is creativity and free will. So obviously, I'm not too keen on God predetermining things before they happen. But God still has a will too. Scripture describes it as God's "good and acceptable and perfect will" (Romans 12). And somehow God's will can become my will too. Although I imperfectly perceive that will and still act against God at times, eventually all creation will be renewed and "perfected" in the image of God. So, to sum up, God's will is imprinted deep inside of us by virtue of being created in God's image, AND God's will is continually discovered through an ongoing process involving revelation by the power of the Holy Spirit. That's my line of thinking.
Now, to get back to identity and hedonism, etc. I do not think that hedonism is part of the image of God in which we are created. Sure science and common sense tells us it's natural to pursue pleasure and flee pain, but who decides what's pleasurable and what's painful?
I am challenged by scriptures like Matthew 10:39 where Jesus teaches, "Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it." And of course the example of Jesus provided in the gospels where Jesus does just that--gives up his life for others. Throughout the New Testament there is this notion of "love one another," which involves selflessness and sacrifice, but yet the honor and satisfaction of love.
I think what my problem is feeling like there's some expectation out there of who I'm supposed to be and feeling like a failure if I don't meet it. I think all of this reflection has lead me to realize that this process takes faith, that is, trust in God that who God is making of me, is good, acceptable, and will one day be perfect.
What do you think? I feel like a teenager yelling at God as a parent, "You can't tell me what to do or who to be!!!" What I'm finding is, that's not what God does, so I can quit yelling at him and enjoy the discovery of who I am in the image of God.